What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

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why was the fork in the wall? Why would a fork be in a wall?

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Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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Why couldn't Sammy ride a Bicycle? -Because Sammy is a Fish

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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What did the Chinese man say to the Japanese man Nothing as they have never met

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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