Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere. - Blake Woodman

What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

Whats really down a black hole? I don't know...The last person to go down one never came back because he died of AIDS.

What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

Did you hear the one about the nascar driver who couldn't pass his road test? No. It's true, he couldn't pass his road test.

why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

What is Alqueida's favorite football team? The New York Jets.

whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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