How is a woman like a condom? They are not. A woman is a human being and a condom is a man-made rubber object used as contraception in sexual intercourse

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

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A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

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why didnt Timmy get anything for Christmas?His mom told santa he was very naughty that year

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A blind man walks past a fish market then says "why hello lady's" ????

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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A man watched his city burn. He was traumatized by the loss of his friends and family and went to therapy to recover.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-four year olds? There's 20 of them.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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A wild bear walks into a bar, grabs a drink and looks at the man next to it. The man then wakes up from a dream and gets ready for work.

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roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

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What has equally bad consequences as breaking someone's leg in front of the local authorities? Breaking your own leg on purpose in front of the local authorities.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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