How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Want to know how the dyslexic man with no left arm and no left leg? All left

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

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A black man, a mexican man, and a caucasian man, walk into a bar with handguns. The three break out into a gun fight and everyone is killed in the cross-fire

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Knock knock Who's there? To To be continued.

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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Why did the man drink a glass of water? Why not?

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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One day there was a princess born in the jungle. The story goes, that she'd be saved by a grand champion - a Hero. So the day came that she fell in love. After a few magical years, they broke up and she realized that fairy tales are for little girls.

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Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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one stop shop

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Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

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what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

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What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

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A guy walks into a bar

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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What's worse then finding 10 babies in 1 trashcan? Finding 1 baby in 10 trashcans.

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What's more likely to happen in 2011 than the rapture? Finding my real parents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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