How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

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Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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red is black green is black i'm batman i'm white,

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

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Why did the donkey cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? Heehaw!

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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You know whats annoying? Steve

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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What do you call a bear. Rob.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Knock knock Go away

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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