I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

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how do u kill a blonde: drop something shiny at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 2 blondes: but a mirror at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 3 blondes: ask which 1 of them is the prettiest and then wait 5 minuetes:)

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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A man is at the dentists. The dentists says, "Oh my, your teeth are terrible!" The man says, "Yes I know. I am addicted to Meth".

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Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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three mexicans walk into a bar... the bartender says get the fuck out!

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BTW ANders she is gone, read below, seriously! And your mother is ugly, but she is so kind to me, so ill be nice to her too... Seducing a LONE WIDOW ME 32 years she... 180 and always blushing around me? Thats gonna be hard... No seriously, I kissed her on the cheek the other day, she moaned... And she aint that old... looks like a old 40 year old. ANDERS! AAAANDEERS! CHATTERTON!!! Anyway, tell your mom, that way Ill just need to enter, kill you, and you know... make her feel like she is ... 77 again? Nah she is ahornbag so she must be younger, wont kiss her on those lips though ANDERSSSss because she smokes, the others? Sure, Ill take a pic of her squirting! From the guy that taught you how to make any woman squirt... YOu fucking asshole!

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Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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A man comes into a bar. Wait, it's a horse. A man comes into a horse.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Anal.

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why did Sallt fall off the swings? she had no arms knock knock who's there not Sally

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What do you call a man in the desert? Whatever his name is.

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Q: What's big, black, and smelly? A: The unemployment line.

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Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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What's the difference between a Lamborgini and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

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How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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