What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Why cant the guy drink his beer Because he hasnt opened it yet

what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

Where are you going Your house

What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

A cow and a goat are at the top of a hill. The cow starts to eat the grass, and the goat says, "Hey! That's mine!"

Whats red and smells like Bacon. Bacon

ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

Q: Why is it funny to laugh at gay men? A: They like men.

Do I ever ask yo a question that I havn't given you the answer to Mr Hearty.

Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

Caramel Boing.

why didn't love legs cross the road because he had no balls

AIDS

Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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