Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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I like my coffe like my women Without a Penis

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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Roses r Red Violets r Blue I'm schizophrenic So am i too!

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey...I forget the rest but your mother is a hor.

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

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Did you hear the joke about the pencil? Nevermind it was pointless.

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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Where does Elmo live? In Sesame Street.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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An old man walks into a movie theater, has a stroke, and dies as his family screams for help and attempts to revive him to no avail.

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops