- Anti Joke

What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

What do you call a person trying to rob a store with no arms? Peter Pan

why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

Jesus on the cross promised he would return rite? So three days later he returns in ghost form and leaves. So why people still waiting for him? He returned and left already! (Lack of Moral?): The third coming: this summers blockbuster hit!

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

Q;How many screams does it take to ruin a good riddle? A: OOOOOONNNNEEEEEEEEEEE! Moral: This potentially awesome riddle may or may not have been aborted by a scream.

Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

What do Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

Why was the asian boy abused? He got an B in math

A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

so...um, yeah

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

knock knock who's there? your mom your mom who? I'm sorry to tell your mom is dead :.(

If your falling up a ladder and your canoe runs out of gas, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog houes? A. George Washington B. India C. Blue Answer: False

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? rape

Henry VIII: I need another wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas Wolsey: All right then. How about my nan? Henry VII: I'm dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~D

What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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