What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why am I telling you this joke? Because I entered the following, agreed to the Terms of Service, and clicked "submit".

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two men walk in to a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H20" The second man says "I'll have some H20, too." They both received glasses of water.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

womans rights...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mom is so stupid that she was unable to make it into the college of her choice.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . Windows 95 for my PC On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 4th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 6th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 7th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 8th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 9th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 9 apps a crashin' 8 megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 10th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 10 modes not supported 9 apps a crashin' 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 11th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 11 instructions faulty 10 modes not supported 9 apps a crashin' 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 12 illegal operations 11 instructions faulty 10 modes not supported 9 apps a crashin' 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Sugar is sweet. Plums are too. Prison rape isn't funny either.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

a chicken walks into a bar and gets drunk. the locals then proceed to tell the police because the chicken was harrassing people after he got drunk

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats the difrence between a japaneese and chineese person? one is from japan and one is from china.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the worm say to the butterfly? Nothing, worms don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why is kool-aid so sweet? Because it contains sugar

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What did the horse say to the other horse? A: Nothing, Horses are incapable of making verbal communication therefore they cant speak to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

This man was known to beat his wife alot, To the car door to open it for her...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

You remind me of something What? Monday Why? Nobody likes you

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple river? it makes a splash

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops