What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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10 years later...... a baby is born in Japan and has 26 toes due to radiation

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How many babies can you fit on a ferris wheel? None, babies aren't allowed to ride

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Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

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Why did the man stop going to his local doctor? Because they put highly poisen liquids in the shots

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How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

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Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

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Alchohol.

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They see me rollin' They hatin' Patrolin they try to catch write a joke Try to catch me write a joke Try to catch me write a joke (tootle loo, I see you ;)

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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What's worse than sitting through a boring class? Sitting on a bus that a terrorist is about to blow up.

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What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

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What's plastic and kids turn it on... A xbox.

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why did matt daly want to go to prison? to be fondled

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What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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So 2 guys are curious if there is baseball I heaven... So they say when either of them dies they have to come back as a spirit and tell the other man if there is baseball in heaven One of the guys dies and comes back as a spirit... He comes to the other man and says... I've got some good news and some bad news The man says what's the the good news? The spirit says the good news is there is baseball in heaven So the man says what's the bad news?? The spirit says... Your pitching Tuesday night!

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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Roses are red Im adopted

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

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Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

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A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

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Why was the asian a bad driver? Because while he was driving a leprechaun was punching him in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops