A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two gay guys are cuddling in a park when they spot a hot, busty blonde jogging near them. One turns to the other and says, "Damn... It's days like this I wish I was a lesbian."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A bar walks into a man... Wait, that's impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you find the richest man in Mexico? Go through government records and tax files and find the person with the highest salary

thumb_up thumb_down +6

RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why was six afraid of seven? prison changes a person

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Barack Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops