Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: She was going to speek at a PETA meeting about the cruel conditions of chicken farms. I hit her with my car

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the Mexican make a burrito for his grandma? it's her favorite food and she has artheritis and its to painful for her to stand long enough to make one herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your mom is so stupid that she was unable to make it into the college of her choice.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's your favorite Sylvia Plath quote? "Turn on the oven."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What makes us laugh? Definitely not this joke!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If Santa's not real, then who pees on the tree every morning?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the boy laugh? cause he was reading this joke!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A hooded black man walks into a Convenience store. He orders a cup of hot chocolate as it is very cold outside.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the man do to the begging orphan on a cold Christmas morning? He kicked him.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Like this if you want people to stop asking to have their jokes liked.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops