Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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What do you call 100 dead babies in my garage? Murder.

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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Bob goes to the store and buys some food.

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what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am epileptic. SLAWWAWASWAKHINGAGAGAGAKIHARGAVBAZSAWAWAWAWAAAAA

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The Police The Police who? We're sorry Ma'am your son has died in a car accident... --------- Knock Knock! Who's there? Not your son

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what do you call a ginger......... billy and mickee.......

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don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

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Bob: Oh, there was a big surfing competition in Hawaii. Bill: that's really cool. Bob: yeah, there were huge waves up to 53 feet. Bill: Awesome! Bob: Yeah there was a Japanese guy that won. Bill: Wow, that will bring up the spirits of japan. Bob: Yeah, but he got disqualified. Bill: No, how?!?! Bob: he was surfing on his dresser.

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Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

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Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

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What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

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What are 3 skills black people have that they use for basketball? Great hand eye co-ordination, communication and encouragement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops