One day, a guy wanted to know if all blondes really were dumb. He gathered a stadium full of blondes, picked one out of the blondes and said,"I will ask you a few questions. First, what is 23+12?" The blonde replied,"Uh, 30." The other blondes said,"Give her another chance!" "Alright. Next question. What is 30+30?" Said the inquirer. The blonde answered, "Oh! 300!" "Give her another chance!" The blonde crowd shouted. "Alright but this is the last question. What is 1+1?" The blonde answered, "2." The blonde crowd roared, "Give her another chance!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I am not physically scarred, rather mentally, lets just say my childhood was a lot less than pleasant, I got no idea where you got that "Nero lost an arm" thing, I got both arms working. But I guess I often feel alone because only I can feel, see and experience the pain of the scars a terrible childhood has left me with. You are right though, it is easy to give up saying that humanity is not ready or worthy, making me feel as Dr.Doom or something alike, hidden behind some suit of armor still ashamed for things I know that I am not, but that still burn deep within my mind. PTSD buddy, it does not matter if I logically believe that I am competent or not, when my past is engraved, etched into my soul, constantly telling me I am not, so helping others is actually pretty easy, yet saving myself, I do not know how anymore, it is easy to change the minds of those that have not been broken time after time physically and mentally by those which they love the most. I will heal, your words are inspiring, thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Apple hates Blackberry.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man and a midget walk into a bar each carrying a suitcase. They were stopping by after work.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many feet are in a yard? It depends how many people are in the yard.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the black father get his child for Christmas? A Yo-Yo. Actually, never-mind, he doesn't know his father.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

25

thumb_up thumb_down -2

cops:knock- knock person: who's there? cops: the cops person: the cops who cops: we found the body #Casey Anthony

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers but at least i do not have Alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Did you hear about the new brand of shovel? Yeah, it's pretty groundbreaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A amazing I idiots D discover S sex

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops