- Anti Joke

This is Nero, the guy striving a bit with the fact that he killed his mother in order to save his wife a month or so before Christmas: cathphra is Exceedingly well read, I say than you. I had a nightmare tonight, my parents where serving tomato soup, while my mother made great food (despite the fact they discovered that it was not angel dust she used, but large quantities of opiate that would have killed an elephant) But this time they served me dry tomato soup (that from packages) and a bowl of lukewarm soup. I asked: How am I supposed to mix this? They both gave me the look of "here comes a beating" I started calling my mother many things that horsehead network sensors, then my father grabbed my neck and tried to twist my head off (and in this dream, rather than in reality, he actually succeeded) but I somehow managed to remain alive. Then I yelled in english: THIS IS BECAUSE I KILLED YOU! I HAVE NO SOUL TO TAKE! Only then I realized it was a dream and woke up...You know, because my parents never spoke English so they would not have understood me... I have a broken vertebrae in my neck to prove that my father tried quite hard to break my neck in reality at least... Yeah, I am mostly over it, I killed my father when he tried to break my neck because I kept scatching my ortopedic arm while studying (real arm which my mother cut off and then proceeded to beat me up with funny story actually) Then killed my mother years later when she stabbed my girlfriend induced under what turned out to be a heavy dose of opiates, and paralgin forte (which main ingredent is... you guessed it MORE opiates).

There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

This is on of those few moments where my guts and attitude leave me feeling as if the entire world is against me... ...Then I cant help but to smirk and think... The world against me? Finally a worthy challenge... Such a great day... Nero because fuck morals: Friends and not so friends do not call me Black Metal because I listen to power rock, my mother high on drugs attacked my wife claiming she was Satan, I killed my angel dust empowered mother, felt as if the world was against me... ...Such a great day... "I killed my father too but you dont hear me whining about it!" And of course... ...Rest in pieces oh "dear" mother", at least you did one good thing, you gave birth to your undertaker, while I killed you to end my lifelong misery, My only regret is ending yours... Now I request you all think I am a monster and pretend we live in a world where all parents are nice and good... You already deluded yourself? Perhaps you should thumb me up instead then.

y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

why did Kelsey fall off the swing? because she has no arms Knock Knock who's there? not Kelsey

Why did the blond woman sell her water skis? She was in a horrible accident and will never walk again.

Yo mama's so ugly, She cured cancer.

They say you are what you eat, but i don't remember eating a big bowl of sexy.

Robin get in the batmobile!

An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, I am Colorblind...FML

Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

why did the baby cross the road i tied it to the back of a car

How do you catch wet wood on fire? Ask a business owner in Ferguson, MO, to keep it in their store.

Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

What's worse than failing an exam? Failing two exams.

knock knock whose there tim tim who just kidding its fred

Your mom is not fat!

What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

What did the man say to his father? You are not my mom.....

What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

You know what makes me smile? Face muscles

Knock Knock? Who's There? The Gestapo.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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