Why did the teacher arrive late for class? Because his father had a stroke the night before, and they had to rush to the hospital and because of exhaustion, he missed the bus, and arrived ten minutes late.

Why did the Indian cross the road? Trail of Tears.

a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

What did the little boy get for Christmas? A pair of broken sunglasses, because his parents didn't care about him, and because he lived in Hawaii where it is very hot in December. Plus the kid's blind. By Nikhil Sridhar of Taikoo Shing, Hong Kong.

Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the kangaroo die? Because two stapled koalas fell on its head.

Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunette: it stands for I Don't Know Blonde: okay, I get it now

Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

Want to hear the funniest joke in the world? I forget how it goes but it ends with the abolishment of slavery.

Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a fox? An eaten chicken.

I C U P White stuff

Knock Knock Who's there? Sally Sally who? Haha I'm just kidding, I'm Jorge.

What did the dying mother give her newborn child? AIDS

Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

Have you heard the joke about the cat? No Are you kitten me

Why isn't this joke funny? Because it has no point.

What do you call two black people on one bike? Unsafe. Regular bicycles are typically not suited for use by two people at once, black or otherwise. Riding on the handlebars is dangerous and can lead to serious injury.

I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

yo mammas so fat when she gets cut gravy pours out

There once was a man from Nantucket, He sailed a boat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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