How did the Muslim girl get pregnant? She was brutally raped on the streets of Baghdad.

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Hey guess what? What? I have good news and bad news. The bad news is you're mom died. I lied about the good news.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

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Why was the girl crying? She got shot in the penis

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a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

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What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

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What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

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Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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How do you enter a gas station? Through the front door

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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A muslim walks into an airport. He then buys his ticket, boards his plane, and his flown to his proper destination.

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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a guy walked into a bar, ordered a drink, sipped it slowly thinking of his waisted youth. then he finished his drink and went home to his wife of 34 years

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What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

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why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

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An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

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Roses are red, Violets are red, you are a liar, oh wait you're not!! MY BACKYARD'S ON FIRE

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What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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