Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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what happened when spongebob and Patrick were mean to sandy? she made a hurricane

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A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

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Why did you cross the road. You didn't your looking at this joke

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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Why couldn't the black man play hockey in college? He died of cancer while still in high school.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His mother was a prostitute.

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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Q: what do you call a much green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

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A: Knock Knock B: The door is open please come in.

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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