What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat low calorie foods because she wants to lose weight.

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

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What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

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why did the man french kiss the horse? because he was high on l.s.d and confused the horse for an attractive male because he himself was homosexual ps vagina monkeys and chili

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quantum physics?

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I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

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what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

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I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

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What do you do when you see someone from the kkk? Accept what you saw and move on with your day

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What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

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Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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