pretty soon we'll all be dead

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

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Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

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An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

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Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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Q: What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

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What is duke oxtoby? legend.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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The fox said to the walrus, "Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!" And the walrus replied, "Goo-Goo-g'joob".

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Larchmont Park is the biggest shithole in the european union - Only the jippo part tho, lots of flies live in that part <3

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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