Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A blonde girl gets in a bad car accident . A man stops on the side of the road to help her . She is panicking The man gets out a piece of chalk and draw a small circle. He says "Do not step out of this circle" The man smashes her car with a baseball bat She giggles He rolls her car down the hill, She laughs Her car is on fire , She is cracking up He yells " WHAT IS SO FUNNY " She says , "I stepped out of the circle three times when you weren't looking"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There's 2 guys in a Y shaped road. One road leads to a cliff with deadly alligators below the river. The other road leads to the village. You can ask both of the guys one question to which leads to the village. However, one guy always tells the truth and the other guy always tells a lie. How do you get to the village? GPS

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Russian drinking something other than vodka.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock Who's There Sally Sally who? Sally who .got hit with a fridge and fell off a tree because I have no arms. Sorry, I do not know you.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A rabbit hops into a bar and sits on a stool, he then asks for a carrot, the barman didn't have a clue what he said because it was a rabbit so gives him a carrot to be generous. The bar door slams open and animal control put him in a cage and take him away. The moral of the story is that you should never let rabbits in your bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There is a horse sitting at a bar, and the bartender says MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is old and fancy and comes in two pieces? Marie Antoinette.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is greater than God, More evil than the Devil, The poor have it, The rich need it, If you eat it, you will die? Madelyns head

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the man die? A fridge fell on him.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Jerry Sandusky prefers twenty eight year olds. 20 eight year olds.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the snowman afraid of the sun? Because he would melt that day and die

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops