why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

What do you call a computer running Windows DOS? Obselete

Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Not your cheese.

A duck walks into a bar. Then he walks out.

Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

Once ther was a happy little boy and he was just playing with his dinosaur when he was hit by the school bus that was supposed to take him to school. The End

A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

Not even I believe you will ever know yourself that well ever Nero, you see what you created as a false illusion, as all of your, or rather our effort for nothing, as a pathetic attempt to create heaven on earth. In my eyes, you succeeded in doing so, and if it where for you, or more people such as yourself and I, it would have lasted, stop trying to give people what they do not deserve, and remember that making others happy will never cure the sadness and pain deep within you, only cover it. Stop fleeing from yourself, stay, get to know yourself.

What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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