What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

Two muffins are in an oven. They say nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

matt is fat

If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you go into the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!

why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

What did the man do with his cat? he threw it in the garbage because he didn't like it

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

Know what's funny? Jokes.

Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them...

A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

Q:Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A:One less drunk

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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