So, a monkey walks ino a bar... I can't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother is a whore.

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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Roses are gray, violets are gray. I am a dog.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

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Turkeys are obese

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

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what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

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knock knock whos there? steve oh hi steve please come in

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Read This line it the tune of "If your happy and you know it" If you're reading this, Do your homework. Sincerely, Your Teacher

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What did the players of the all black NBA team say to the white rookie? "Congratulations for making it to the NBA! Your hard work and dedication has certainly paid off."

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy lost all his hair. Turns out he had brain cancer and died at age 30.

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Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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