What's worse than getting raped by a duck? Getting raped by two ducks.

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How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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Q. Whats the diffrence between a squirl and a chipmunk? A. A squirl has a squirl mom and a squirl dad while a chipmunk has a chipmunk mom and a chipmunk dad.

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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what do you get if you cross a scotsman , who knows nothing about football and a indian? Blackburn rovers, and a good night out

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Yo mama so fat and ugly, I don't want to tell you how fat and ugly she is for fear of vomiting.

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What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

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what is green and has wheels grass i lied about the wheels

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Wihat's red, green, and goes 100 miles an hour? A frog in a blender!!!!!

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knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

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Why was a woman not considered in the role for a stunt driver? Because her skill level was not sufficient enough for the requirements.

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Uh Oh you just fell, So, So I've got one thing to say to you, And what's that Don't fall it gets you down!!!!!!!!

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Your friend says "Hi" What do you say back? You say "chunky salsa?" She said "what?" You think she knows you made out with her boyfriend last night. So... You blurt out " I'm SO sorry I made out with your boyfriend lastnight" Know.... Your dead meat.

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

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Charlie, Charlie the drunk guinea pig! OUR BEST FRIEND!!! Angel Charlie: I'm already dead yah poof!!! Butt cancer killed me.....

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a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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knock knock? whose there? i dont know. i dont know who? i dont know.

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what is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babes. when i saw the Porsche i told the guy nice car and he was like yea whatever then i went and killed 50 babes and lost conciseness when i woke up i saw the Porsche again and thought what a nice car and when i saw the babes i thought what kind of monster killed all those babes

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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