Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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Why did Little Suzie fall off her bike? I hit her with a shovel. Why did little Suzie die? I hit her with a shovel and she fell off her bike.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops