Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because that's where a box of everything you own is

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo mamma's so fat she has her own zip code!!! :) Well... the actual reason is she is filthy rich and her house is so big that it takes up a bunch of room, and now that im talking about her i really wanna be her even though shes fat!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Unicorns do not use lightbulbs, their technology (magic) is way too advanced to waste fossil fuels and pollute the air. Also, you can't change a lightbulb with hooves. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. I said who's there? Knock Knock. WHO THE FUCK'S THERE, GODDAMNIT? Knock Knock. PLEASE STOP IT STOP IT OH GOD STOP IT Knock Knock SWEET DEAR JESUS GOD CHRIST STOPSTOPOHGODSTOPITNOW Knock Knock. FORGODSSAKECOMEIN. Hello, Mark. Oh, hi, Steven.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the difference between 10 dead babies and a 1,000,000 dollar car I don't have a 1,000,00 dollar car

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? A. I don't were cleats when I jump on my trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walked into a bar making it immediately apparent that he had no future in competitive limbo.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why are you on this sight? You're procrastinating. I am too

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo mama so fat she runs the risk of stroke, heart disease, or diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is 33 + 1? Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops