Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

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What's white and gluey Glue

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Why did the black man die? Kidney Failure.

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Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

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why did Michael Jackson cross the road? He didnt he is dead.

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I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

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Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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