What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

What do you call a Black White supremisist? Well you see the Black man was blind and thought he was a racists redneck. He then contracted cancer.

My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

How do you make spongebob come to Life? You kiss him????????

I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

Why was the girl called stupid? She is mentally retarded...

What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

Roses are red. Violets are beer. Kay eckelkamp is in charge here.

What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

how do you burn a lot of calories? set a fat kid on fire

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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