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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

Obama

Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

A man told another,"You suck." The insulted man finished the sentence,"On juice boxes."

My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

Roses are red Violets are blue My head itches I'm going to get this guy to itch it for me

What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

A scantily dressed woman is standing at an intersection. She is a prostitute.

Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the fried chicken restaurant... BAWK BAWK cannibal

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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