A man walks into a bar. He suffers a fatal concussion and the playground is shut down by local police until proper padding is installed.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did Santa say when he fell down? Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why are rich guys gay? Because they can afford to be

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why could the red heading boy sing higher notes than the blonde headed boy? He was castrated at birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A blonde and a brunette walk into a job interview. The brunette gets the job because she is more qualified and has more experience.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A bar walks into a man

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What's green, red, and covered in cookie crumbs? A: A dead girl scout.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a black man on the moon? Another successful moon landing by NASA in which the African-American astronaut went on a successful moon walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q:what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? other person: What? A:how am i suppose to know I'm not a lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops