Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Once upon a time there was a man sleeping, Then he woke up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was no traffic for miles and the chicken was in search of basic needs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assuming the fact that these children are in fact deceased, it would be highly inprobable that they could perform any task. Or that they would need to see any light at all, since the point of that dark room is to keep them concealed.

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Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops