“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

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Roses are Red, They are also white, Infact nowadays with cross-pollination a hugely diverse number of different coloured roses are attainable.

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kk

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What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

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You know whats annoying? Steve

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Im a Tree... BARK BARK!!!

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Your mom says hi!.........Jinks!!!! yeah yeah yeah yeah yeaaaah.

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A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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How do you find out a chinese's name? Ask him/her

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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why did the women have to black eyes? obviously because her husband hit her because he wanted a sandwich and he slapped the bitch and told her to get in the kitchen!

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why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

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Knock Knock whos there? a black man ohh ok come in

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A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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