knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Albert <3 Hunter

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

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Three black men walk into a gas station and don't steal anything.

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Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

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What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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antijoke is the best website.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops