When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt

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What did the duck say to the other duck? Something, But us humans don't speak there language to understand

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

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Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

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what's more fun then stapling a dead baby to a fence? ripping it off

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its 2 in the morning Go the f+%& to sleep.

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charlie sheen becomes sober.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Whats slower than molasses? A dead baby.

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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Q. What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A. A gay bar

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LOL

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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How do you call a gay that is playing poker with friends You say "call" and place the right amount of fiches on the table, at that moment you are still in the race to win the pot.

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Knock Knock Who's there? 20 20 Who? 24

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A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

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A White, a Black, and a Hispanic man walk into a bar. They sit down and have a nice conversation, tip their bartender and then leave.

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i have a story to tell u!!! oh s*** i forgot!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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