A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not suzie!!

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach bach Bach. No. Beethoven was deaf. He couldnt understand what they were saying.

Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

Why did the room go dark? Somebody turned the lights off

What does Jason say when he rages on cod ? I hope your family gets slaughtered in front of him ..

What is white and long? A New York winter

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

two muffins are in a oven the one muffin says jee its hot in here and the other muffin says wow a talking muffin

Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

Insert joke that isn't even an anti joke = The new jokes on anti joke now.

What did the cat say to the human? Nothing

What made your girlfriend laugh to death? You dropped my pants.

Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

What's worse then a worm in your apple? When your apples a human

CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

Whats brown a sticky, shit

boner

A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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