How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

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Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Against city ordinates, an old woman was keeping chickens in her suburban back yard. One escaped, and there was no where else to go.

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9/11

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

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One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops