I guess calling you dear was a bit overboard for you huh? Well, just promise me you will get whatever help you need if you get ill.

Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

So, I walked into my friends house and MAH DEDDEHS DECK was outside bruh

What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

How did the blond become a pilot? By attending flight school, graduating, applying to an airline to which she subsequently was hired to, taking frequent training courses, and beginning work.

What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

One night, a man was bitten by Dracula. The first thing to come out of his mouth was "Joke's on you, I have AIDS!" Then proceeded to laugh hysterically until Dracula snapped his neck

Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

race-car = rac-ecar

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

How do you run faster than a cheetah? Cut off its legs.

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest for drug trafficking and possession of illegal firearms. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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