What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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antijoke is the best website.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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Why is this website called anti-jokes? i don't know but it makes sense.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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What's purple, blue, red, orange, yellow and green. A rainbow .

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what did the african boy get for christmas? what does his ethnicity or his place of origin have anything to do with what he gets for christmas

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what's worse than both your parents dying? finding out that they were hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and they left you nothing, including the house, oh and you have to be out by the end of the week, the bank is ready to re-possess the house, especially since your parents haven't paid the mortgage for 8 months. oh, by the way, happy birthday! written by KA

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Yo mamma's so short that she is 12 inches below the average height of a woman at her age.

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#Last Christmas I gave you my heart #And as far as I know #The transplant was a complete sucess #And you have recovered from your operation #And are now well again #This year to save me from tears #I'll donate my kidneys

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

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A scantily dressed woman is standing at an intersection. She is a prostitute.

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a man checks his mypsace

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

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Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

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Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

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Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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What's the difference between a leopard and a coffee table? There is no difference. They both have four legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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