- Anti Joke

What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

Roses are red, and many other colors too.

A: Ask me if I am an Orange. B: "Are you an Orange?" A: No.

How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

What is white, sticky, and something that gay people and women love? Frosting.

Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

Why did the cow go over the hill? He didn't. He was pinned and slaughtered in a private owned animal torture facility.

their was a black man in my family tree hes still hanging on

Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

Have you seen stevie wonders house? neither has he.

Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

So, Ryan Dunn was driving under the influence of alcohol. The result of this action proved to be fatal for both Ryan and his passenger; who happened to be his close and personal friend.

He who laughs last...is not a laughing owl because they're extinct.

What was the last thing the boy heard before he was hit by the school bus? Nothing. He was deaf.

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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