Whats long and red all over? This Cut on my arm, i should get it checked out.

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Your momma is so fat because she ate alot!

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salad days!

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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What have you got there? Hitler's gas bill... Oh.. don't show him that, he'll be furious Whys that? He can't read.

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

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The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

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Angus is so Scottish he wears a kilt when it is socially appropriate.

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Puns are terrible. I love them.

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why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

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womens rights

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A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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