Your mom is so poor She will soon have to make the difficult decision whether or not to put you up for adoption

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

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Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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Why are there no Jews in hell? Because Hitler is there,

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who is not good looking? mon morello

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What do animals eat at the beach? Sandwitches

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so you're waling through the desert and a tire falls off your canoe. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

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A blonde walks into a bar ouch

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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What's worse than having your t.v. stolen by a Mexican? Getting raped with a chainsaw.

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What did the def blind mute kid get for christmas? He doesnt know either

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In soviet russia...the abundance of natural oils and rich agricultural land provide it with a thriving economy

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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What did the mexican say to the black person? Hey there! How are you today?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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