How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

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how did the kid cut open his forehead? by putting on his underwear!

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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It was the week of the school formal and a girl rang up her date and said I don't have a dress for the formal. He said ok the lets go out and buy one. So they went to the dress shop to buy one but the line was really, really long so they waited in the dress line for ages and ages until they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. As they did, the girl said well I suppose you need a suit, so they went to the suit shop, and again, the suit line was really long but they waited in the suit line and they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. Then the guy said, well if we want to go to the formal in style, then we will need a limo. So they went to the limo shop but the limo line was really long as well. But again, they waited in the limo line and they got to the front, paid and left. It was finally the night of the formal, she had her dress, he had his suit and they arrived in their limo. Everyone was having a great time and the the girl said to her partner, I'm a bit thirsty could you please get me a drink? So the guy went over to the drinks table and went to get a glass of punch but there was no punch line.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

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How did Sarah Palin see Russia from her house? She didn't.

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

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What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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A man walks into a bar, asks for a drink. He then realises that it was a metal bar and not one that serves alcoholic beverages. He then ponders the mysteries of the world and the universe.

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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How do you kill and red head? Throw your mom at them!

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What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

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What do you get when someone tells you an anti joke? An anti joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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