Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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Why did John break down in tears? Because he was molested as a child.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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Why do black people like watermelons so much? They don't. It's just a stereotype.

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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Why did little nancy call the police? Because her dad beats her toaster up.

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Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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Doctor, Doctor I think your gay. thats because i am

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Adam Thomas is homosexual

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

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Ill never forget the last phone conversation i had with my Jewish friend before he died due to the 9/11 incident. Friend:owejpq3jhp3qjopiqwejhriopjhaiophfioashiohwih13ioh3f2893hoiqehefioahfioahisdpahdfajdfopasjiopdfajdfopsajradalkdjakldja;hdfkl;adhlpa;dhfakl;dhkladhkadhlkhdjklahdjkgsdjkgbdqwgy3bi3grqbhgjkasjkdkasjdgjkadgskajgdkajdsgjkasgdad

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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