If you're happy and you know it get a life

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Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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What looks like poo but is rainbow colored? Rainbow colored poo.

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What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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How did Chris die? Bush-fire

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

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How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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what did eric foreman get for christmas? a foot in his ass.

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What do bluejays and cardinals have in common? They both Were born during the Medevil period.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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