what do a pizza and a jew have in common? they both burn in an oven

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What did the biological child say to his adopted sister? We are both loved equally by our parents.

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My mom always said that jumping in a pile of leaves was fun! That was before a 20 foot long iguana bit her head off...

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Your momma's so stupid, she threw out all the W's in the m&m's packet

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What's the difference between oreos and your opinion? I asked for your opinion.

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Why did it look like the girl peed herself? Because she peed herself

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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what is juicy and smells like juice,but it is not juice? juice. i lied about it not being juice.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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whats gay and american? a gay american

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Why is an elephant gray Because it's GRAY!!! duh

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

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You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

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alert('The Game')

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

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Should a pole bump an alarm?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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