99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

Why did the man ask his wife to make him a sandwich? He lost both of his arms in the war.

have you seen Stevie wonders car? No Neither has he

h

What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

What's the best way to anger a Muslim? Key his car in front of him.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? 'Where's my tractor?'

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

what do you call a black guy falling down a hill? A hiker with an inconveniance you racist son of a bitch

What did the boy eat for lunch? - His mother.

Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

Why isn't Michael Jackson aloud at Disney world? He is dead.

Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

Barack Obama.

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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