Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

How do you say a bad word in your language? Like this: "A bad word in your language"

This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

Roses are red Grass is green Get in the van If you know what I mean

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

roses are red violets are blue im a paki and you are a jew!

there once was a black man who played basketball

A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

y did simran cros rode? 2 get 2 uder side ofcurse. stopid nobs

Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

why can't hellen keller eat a pizza? because she is dead.

How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

This is the same thing you told me once, believe me, it helps holding into it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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