a black man walks out of popeyes

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

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What do you call a Muslim on a plane? A passenger, you racist bastard.

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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What do you get when you cross a hooker with five shots of tequila? Herpes

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it

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

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Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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I saw a shooting star. It shot me.

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want to hear a yo mama joke sure Your dad

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What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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