How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

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Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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well now

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

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What did the Pedophile say to the small girl? I have served my sentence and been successfully rehabilitated. Please continue playing out in public without fear of being sexually assaulted.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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