A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

A man goes to the movies with his wife, two hours later they drive home and find their house just the way they left it.

Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

Democracy.

Do you know whats a joke? Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.

A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

A white, black, jewish, and hispanic person apply for a job as an accountant who gets the job? One of them.

Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

What is white and square? A ping pong block

*insert corny "a man walks into a bar" joke here*

Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

Why didn't the disabled kid cross the road? He didn't make it.

How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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