What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

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Q) Why did the Koala fall out of the tree A) Because it was dead!

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

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How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're people to you know...

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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HEY!

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What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

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On Friday the 13th,My cat turned into a dog.

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

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I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

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When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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A man walks into a bar falls into the street and gets run over. It was very tragic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops