What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves the duck the beer. Later, the bartender wonders to himself when his life got so out of control.

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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i like candy and other things that are edible... please dont thumbs down just cuz this suxxx just put thumbs up and santa claus will haunt u :)

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What is worse than a badly told joke? A badly told Anti-joke.

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How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

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What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

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Roses r Red Violets r Blue I'm schizophrenic So am i too!

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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What do you call a poor man on the side of the rode asking for money? A poor man on the side of the rode asking for money.

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what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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Jacob Edwards has friends.

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

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Why were black people mad about slavery? Because they didn't get paid in gum! Holt9 ;P

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

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An Ethiopian fell into an alligator infested river. He ate 7 of them before he got out.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

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how many babies does it take to paint a house depends on how hard you throw em

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How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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