"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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When the boy cried wolf who heard him? Not Helen Keller

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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What was Joe's old name? Joe, I lied about the old part.

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whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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National security?

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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Annld so the penguin said, "This is my most casual outfit!"

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Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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